I just got a phone call from Kate's mother...apparently she's sick in Costa Rica.
Not just a little bit sick but really sick.
I wish I were there or that she were here.
I should be with her now that she needs me the most,
but I can't because there are a thousand miles between us.
I can't wait to see her again and see with my own eyes that she's ok.

Evil Money

Money is the root of all evil.
So we should away with money...
Unfortunately, evil happens to be alot of fun.

When KateTravels....

When Kate travels:

Everything I see
makes me think of her.
Everything I hear
sounds like her whisper
in my ear.
Every touch feels
like her hair on my cheek.
Every cloud in the sky
makes me dream of her.
So I think of her
and smile.



So yes...the breaking news of today is that I really, really miss Kate.
Still, I know that she is having a great time in Costa Rica which is good and I don't begrudge her. I certainlyhope that she doesn't spend her trip moping over being away from me...because more than anything else I want her to be happy and to have a good time. I think that it is important that she travel a lot because she is the kind of person who needs a bit of something new every once in a while...something to get her thinking and I think that this trip is going to be very good for her in that respect.
Anyway, I hope that she is having a great time but I'm constantly thinking of her and I can't wait untill she gets back.
It's been what...two days now?

It's strange. Only a few days ago, when I had so much work that I could barely think I was aching for free time. Now that I have all the free time I could possibly want, I don't know what to do with myself. I wish Kate were here to share it with me.

Contrary to popular belief, I do infact get angry...it just takes a while. I don't usually get angry right off the bat...there's a bizzare kind of delayed response. I usually have to think it over for a bit and give myself a bit of time to get pissed off or offended. I don't know why I work that way, I just do. Maybe its because when people actually do something that pisses me off I'm so startled by it that it takes a while to sink in. Or maybe, I just do things slowely and deliberately...including getting angry.

Bio Debriefing

So the Bio exam wasn't sooo bad either, but then again that's what I said after every one of Dr. Meier's Bio tests. Usually his tests are pretty trippy, but this one was fairly straight forward. I mostly ascribe that to the fact that Dr. Meier took a lot of his material from previous tests...in fact he took whole questions from the old tests. I'd say that about sixty percent of his test went thusly...the other fourty percent was new and about as trippy as usual. Ah well, I'm not going to work about it anymore. It's done and over with and either way, I'm glad to get it over with.

Chemistry Debriefing

Alright, so my chemistry final wasn't quite the spawn of the prince of darkness that I expected it to be. I'm glad I studied as much as I did (I'd say I put at least 30-48 hours of studying into that thing over the course of the past five days) because other people who studied less came out looking like they wanted someone to shoot them. Even though I studied as much I did, there were still some questions that puzzled me. There's aten point curve built into the final, so I'm pretty sure I got my B-. Which means that I haven't been knocked out of the running for being a doctor just yet. I'd say that another twnety five of us didn't make it past general chemistry II...so that leaves seventy five people for me to compete with. Of the seventy five of us, only a quarter will make it to med. school...so I still have a long way to go.

What is Yet to Come:
Next hurdle is the Bio final...it only counts as much as a regular test (since lab counts for so much). Now, Bio is my good subject (unlike Chemistry, which was invented by the gods to torture and agonize me) but the Bio proffessor is a bit odd, and consequently, his tests are rather odd too. The best example that I can give to explain them is that taking them is a bit like living in ahouse designed by someone on drugs: there are doors that open into walls, windows that open into walls, staircases that don't go anywhere, and doors that just open into thin air, etc.
So yeah...we'll see how that one goes.

"we can understand the world as it is
Without leaving our home.
We can understand the world as it might be
Without peering dreamily out our window.

The further we go,
The less we know.

Wise people understand the 10,000 things
Without going to each one.
They know them without having to look at each one,
and they transform all without acting on each one."
--Tao Te Ching, Verse 47

I beg to differ. Wisdom beggins with curiosity and only ends when you stop asking questions.
Do not be content with just your home. Go out and question. Don't forget your home because it's important, but don't forget to be curious either.

You know it's bad when...

...When you sit on the floor of your room rocking back and forth hugging yourself and mumbling chemistry equations and random bio facts while listening to Christmas music...in the middle of May.
"The loop of henle excretes sodium ions with a Ksp of 7.98 because sodium galvanic cells react with aliuminum and copper with electrons in the d orbitals...mumble mumble mumble...."

Yes, finals are finally upon us here at Muhlenberg College.

What do you do when your future begins to slip away from you inch by inch untill it's out your hands and then poof! it's gone?
I have always wanted to be a doctor. I do not want anything else, I never have wanted anything else. Now I am faced with the possibility that it may be impossible for me.
I have never been busier in my entire life than I have been this semester...and as a consequence, my grades have been low in chemistry. Doesn't seem like much does it? But medical schools won't accept you if have below a 3.4 GPA. Not a problem, that's exactly what I have right now. But they don't usually even interview you if you have any grades lower than a B-. Period. That's it. The end. You lose: do NOT pass go, do NOT collect $200. They just don't want you. I have a B- in chemistry right now and I have the final comming up ahead of me.
Here is the problem; no one ever does well on Dr. Shive's final. People go into it with As and come out with Bs. People pray for sixties and seventies, because then their grade will only be lowered by two letters instead of three. How do you survive such a final you ask? Well, you go into it with an A or a B+ and come out with a B or a B-, then you make up for it later on in other courses. But I have a B-, and I can't aford to go into it with a B- and come out with a C or a C-....Not if I want to be a doctor.
I am faced with a situaiton where there is a possibility that my dreams may be decided by one test...except that the test is impossible. I am one of the calmest, most centered people I know...but if I had an inch less of reserve in me, then i think that i would collapse in a paniced hysteria. As it is, I go forward prepared to face worst and deal with the consequences afterward.