A Beautiful Woman with a Beautiful Dinner

Kate made me dinner last night. It was really good! She made chicken ...something or other (it's french)...and I think that overall it was one of the best meals of my life. I also had potatoes, which tasted like heaven. Garlic mashed potatoes boiled in Shannons tea pot because we didn't have anything else to use. We ate together down in the Brown kitchen, and everything was good. I love her so much it's not even funny. I really don't know what I would do without her. She is the most amazing woman i have ever met and I love her with all my heart. She makes me happier than I have ever been in my life, and I can only hope and pray that I may do the same for her for a very long time to come. That is my deepest wish.

Ripples in Time

Drop a pebble into a pond and watch the ripples it makes. It takes the reflection of the heaven above and distorts it. There are two worlds there: the one above, and the one below in the pool, and beneath it all is the pebble,which is till sinking. Now wade in and find the pebble hidden in the muck at the bottom of the pool and get pissed when you're clothes get wet and you get cold because it's not quite warm enough yet and there are a thousand things you would rather be doing, but you have to wade in and find that pebble. So you do.
Welcome to life.

The Moral High Ground.

It is important to not be a hypocrite. People who have done something themselves and then declare that everyone else who does it is wrong are pathetic. And if you have done something, then will life find its way of giving you your just dues? One way or another...
I leave final judgement to those who have never made a mistake. Before making any mistakes I used to judge them very harshly. Once I had, I didn't anymore because I understood them much better...which was good since I had given up the moral high ground and shouldn't judge anyway.
This doesn't mean that some things in life aren't wrong. I have a very clear picture of right and wrong and I never forget it. However, I also remember that I am human just like everyone else and thus not an exception...so I don't judge people as though I am.

Let Him who is perfect judge...it sure isn't me.

Limited Freedom

I guess this post is in responce to one of Vernonica's...which got me thinking.

Imagine that you are floating in emptyness. There is just you and nothing else. You're completely free and uninhibited because there is nothing to limit you. At the same time, you can't do anything because you're just floating there. There is nothing for you to percieve, and nothing for you to do, because you are all that is there.
Now add a horizon. Well, you've just limited yourself. You've taken the nothingness and divided it into an up and a down. Heaven and earth. You're still just floating there, but you have given yourself something to perceive...up vs. down. Well, you've limited yourself, but in doing so you've also freed yourself because you now have options. Now add gravity. You aren't floating anymore, because something is pulling you down to the ground. You aren't as free, but at the same time you can now walk around and do stuff. By giving up a bit of freedom, you gained something. I won't go on forever, but as you construct the world around you from nothing, you have to consistantly constrain yourself, but by sacrificing some freedom you actually gain more. Obviously this only works up to a point when you start sacrificng too much freedom and start just tie yourself down. By giving your world some defenition, you gain options. By leaving your world completely undefined you restric yourself, but by adding some defenition and some restrictions you make yourself more free. I believe that this applies to us as personalities as well as to all other aspects of our lives. If you leave yourself completely undefined then there is no you, just emptyness and unfulfilled possibilities. It all depends on finding the right balance.

I guess the point of all of this is that when you are completely free, you are also completely limited.

Exceptionalism

One of the ideas that floored me back in ninth grade was the idea that Europe might not be a contintent. After all, I grew up with seven continents. But the argument goes as follows: there is no reason why Europe should be a continent. It's on the same continental plate as the rest of Asia, there are no geographic features to differentiate it from the rest of asia, and in terms of terrain, it blends in to the Asian steppes pretty well..or at least just as well as all the other parts of Asia. The reason why Europe gets to be a continent is that it was European who drew the maps way back when, and they felt the need to have their own place. Somehow living in just another part of Asia (or Eurasia as my history teacher used to call it) isn't as good as having a continent of your own. Basically its a case of exceptionalism: the Europeans wanted to be sepparate from the Asian peoples, so they made Europe its own continent.
Well, here another idea. What are you? You're a living organism made up of other living organisms: cells. Those cells are made up of organelles. Now, cells are alive but organelles aren't. Why is that? There is no reason why there should be a difference except that we have decided that it is so. Placing the barrier between life and non-life between cells and organelles keeps it well away from us. After all, if it weren't there, organelles could be alive....or cells could be not alive, and if a cells could not be living then you could too, right? It sounds crazy, but think about it. What are organelles but a series of chemical compunds linked together. What are cells but a series of organelles linked together...meaning that in the end a cell is a much larger group of compunds. What are you but a group of cells tied together, and thus a reeeeaaallly large group of compunds. Maybe we put the boundary there to sepparate ourelves from non-life in the same way that the Europeans made Europe its own continent in order to make themselves sepparate. In reality, maybe there isn't much of a difference at all.
I'm not saying that there's no such thing as life...just that this is a kind of wacky idea that I think people should think about--if for no othere reason, then because it gives you a headache. And we all need that kind of headache every once in a while.

"Hehehehe...yes that right, Zachary Kuschner...keep your friends close and your enemies even closer."
--Harry Bogosian, Joking around with me and Renata over Christmass Break.


Ahhh...good times.

Spring break?...Anybody?

Why the hell doesn't anyone have spring break at the same time I do?

Here I am in the City that is never quiet with nothing to do. It's really pretty sad. I'm going into Friends today, but I can't do that everyday. Ah well...I'm sure I'll find something to amuse myself with.

It's only been a few short hours and I miss her already. That's how you know that a relationship is good though...when she isn't there, it hurts.
It hit around mid-dinner, and I started feeling like something was missing...and then the heart ache started...and now I'm in full Kate withdrawl. Ah well, it's only a week and it will be over before I know it...I'm sure.
Love is such a wonderfull thing...it fills you untill you feel like you want to burst. There are times when I'm with her and I feel like I'm on the most pwerful drugs on the market because I feel so lightheaded and filled with pure joy. When all of that goes away suddenly, its a bit of a shock.
And that is how you know that it's really worth while...when having it not be there makes you feel like a mule just kicked you in the stomach and knocked everything out of you